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My wife & kids love the way I smell

September 6, 2008

Nope. Not a new cologne.

Nope. Not aftershave, either.

Nope. Not even a new soap or shampoo.

My secret? Heat-vaporized animal fat. Yeah, I know. Nasty, right? But it’s true.

This past week I started my new job @ the new Whole Foods Market in Richmond, VA. Now, I’ve been working for the big WFM for about 7 years now and there is not much I haven’t done for them. But this job is a stretch into new territory for me.

I work on the meat team running their in-house Smokehouse. I think my official title is Meat Chef. But Smoke Master seems more fitting.

I get to work @ 6:30 in the morning and begin setting up. I pull the pork shoulders and beef brisket first thing and start loading up the turkey breasts and the St. Louis style ribs and getting the soups and sides ready.

When the ribs have been going for about an hour I add in the whole chickens, and when the chickens have been going for an hour I add in the sausages and hot wings.

An hour later the dance begins and it all starts going out onto the hot bar.

Of course, while everything is cooking, I’m cutting brisket and burning my fingers to the bone pulling pork and every hour I am there is another hour wreathed in smoke and drenched in grease.

The last three hours of my day is spent prepping for the evening shift and keeping up with the lunch crowd (and, of course, clean up).

Today was our first Saturday and it was bloody brutal but it was a good day. My wife and kids drove an hour to come see my new store (though I wasn’t able to spend any time with them while they were there).

When my shift was over, however, I came home and was quickly surrounded by hungry people inhaling the stench of animal fat and hickory, oohing and ahhing and telling me how good I smelled.

It was almost a let down when nobody moaned *bRainS . . . BrAaAaAAaaaiNssss. . . *

2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 8, 2008 05:51

    I was going to post a comment about being sorry about your grueling days. But, then I got to the last line of your post and laughed out loud.

    May your sense of humor keep you sane as you stand wreathed in meat soaked steam.

  2. September 8, 2008 06:57

    I still just want to eat you up!

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