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evolution of anal excretions: oral expression

February 19, 2008

i was thinking about making this a picture-post . . .

. . . but somehow i think maybe it’s better i don’t

Photobucket

a rose by any other name is still a rose, but to tell you the truth i’ve never heard a rose called by any other name.

turds, however, are different.

how we orally refer to anal excretions broken down by life stages:

newborn: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

toddler: poopy

older toddler: poop

preschool: poo

kindergarten girls: poo

kindergarten boys: poo, poop, doo, doo-doo, dookie, turd, mud pie, dirt bomb, stinky chocolate, number 2

grade school girls: number 2

grade school boys: see kindergarten boys

middle school girls: number 2

middle school boys: see kindergarten boys

high school: dump

college: dump, crap or shit are equally acceptable

pre-med: defecate, feces, fecal matter

medical school: movement. inevitable references to beethoven will invariably be interjected by the male of the species.

post graduate: at this point we’ve mostly settled on crap, as the word shit is reserved for professors and term papers

weird sexual idiom: scat, love-brownie

out in the real world: we’ve mostly stopped announcing our need to unload bodily waste and just do it (apologies to nike).

kids of your own: poopy (continue cycle through grade school before reverting to not talking about it again)

geriatric: bowel movement. this is now an important event in your life and you will discuss it in detail ad nauseum with anyone who will listen or can’t get away

post-geriatric: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

NEXT WEEK: ANAL EXCRETION COLORS (BROKEN DOWN BY LIFE STAGES)

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. Red permalink
    February 19, 2008 16:29

    ahahaaa!! Loooove it .
    My favorite is dump. I say that most ofen.

  2. February 19, 2008 17:34

    my wife was afraid to open it. for some reason she thought i was going to make some sort of anal/oral sexual reference. 😳

    was my title that misleading? :mrgreen:

  3. teeni permalink
    February 19, 2008 23:49

    Came here through Red’s site. Interesting to see all these terms in the same place. And a very true post as our chosen terms for it do change with time. Too funny.

  4. February 19, 2008 23:58

    welcome to the phun

    i promise to never be as bad an influence on you as red :mrgreen:

  5. February 20, 2008 00:11

    HiLArious! And no one could be as bad an influence as Red!

  6. February 20, 2008 00:12

    May skip next week’s follow-up post though…

  7. Lumpy permalink
    February 20, 2008 03:51

    #2, ha! ha! So gross!

  8. February 20, 2008 06:34

    You forgot one…

    thirty something men- brown shit, fascinated enough with it to blog about it.

  9. Red permalink
    February 20, 2008 09:05

    hehehee! Mrs T .. touche.

  10. February 20, 2008 09:41

    😦 -le sigh. i am surrounded . . .

  11. February 20, 2008 09:41

    :mrgreen: -by girls

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