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college daze: an ode to what made the adventure worthwhile

February 5, 2008

remember when you were in college

and you drove that crappy car


and did stupid sh!t


and weren’t near as cool as you thought you were
and the differences between boys and girls

took on a whole new urgency

and in your haste you discovered that that movie mrsRobinson

really didn’t prepare you

for the very real eventuality of mrRobinson

and you just new you were toast
but he wasn’t about to go to jail for your dumb @ss

so he just slapped you around and knocked your d!ck in the dirt

so you looked for some girl your own age to monkey around with
the athletic girls were really hot


but they had high expectations

and a nasty habit

of talking about your shortcomings in public

which led to some inadvisable frustrations


but then you discovered frat girls
and saw some serious potential

because they were quirky and cool

and imminently portable
some of them were even quite talented


and you found yourself with a new obsession
finding out what was under that strategically worn denim


and it didn’t matter that some of them looked like this


because all you saw was this
yup, at this point it was all about the beaver


of course that’s when you made the big discovery

that beer made them more flexible

and feisty


of course, eventually they would pass out
but after that you and your buddies could decorate them


it’s all fun and games until someone looses an eye
or until her big brother, bubba, drops in from iowa


then you’re right back where you started

17 Comments leave one →
  1. February 5, 2008 11:39


  2. February 5, 2008 11:42

    thank you

  3. February 5, 2008 13:54

    This is officially my favorite photo montage that you have done so far. Genious. Seriously… genious.

  4. February 5, 2008 14:10

    Is it too late to ask for my money back? My college experience is NO where near this cool.

    Nice job, man!

  5. February 5, 2008 15:41

    @ skyWindows :mrgreen:

    @ lyricalFool: yeah, neither was mine. christian college. but we were voted like 3rd in the nation for hottest chicks by penthouse magazine my first year there.

    sadly the number of women working on their mrs degree at a christian college outnumbers chicks doing the same at regular colleges like 5-1.

    iow, no rock, no … um … doing something with something that rhymes with rock.

  6. February 5, 2008 17:10

    Photo Poetry!!! Yay. I love these, and this is another winner.

  7. February 5, 2008 17:53

    yup, that’s me.

    flashin the masses with photocaptioned goodness

  8. February 5, 2008 18:47

    I keep wanting to do one of these, but I never know where to start. My hard drive crashing and taking all my cool crap with it didn’t help much either. 😦

  9. February 5, 2008 23:03 is our bestest friend.

    if i lose every image i have saved everything is still backed up there. :mrgreen:

    plus you don’t use any of your space on WordPress when you upload photos from there.

  10. February 6, 2008 00:11

    Tricky, tricky, I’ll have to look into that. Dude, I was just responding to the comment you left on my blog, and I erased it. Sorry about that. Here was the comment:

    I’m sticking with what I got. I like the look. The “NC-17, XXX, and Adults Only” are just to spook off the easily offended, and to keep the curious looking around. But there’s nothing actually here (yet) to warrant an actual “mature” smack down. Oh well, that’s why I opened the new blog “Luv & Joy” so folks can enjoy me either 100 proof or decaffeinated.

    I’m such a dork. πŸ˜•

  11. February 6, 2008 00:31

    well, I don’t know about *dork* – we haven’t officially voted you into the club yet.

    and if you want to fight for the look and feel of your blog, more power to ya.

    as for finding you in google, you only drop to the back page on extreme safe search.

    on moderate filter and unfiltered you come up @ the top of page one searching the term “hate and anger blog”.

    google is a content driven engine and you need links and lots of hits to show up in their search engines – or at least to show up anywhere near the front.

    even on extreme safe search the term “peter parkour” comes up about halfway down the first page referencing your hate and anger blog.

    as for my posts on the forum, that was meant to inform, not to belittle. a large portion of the internet community and the blogging community views unsolicited/off-topic comments like that as spam. i deleted the one you sent to me and left it at that because i just figured you probably only sent them like to folks on your blogroll.

    my wife was very fierce in your defense and if i offended i apologize. if i knew how to delete a forum comment i would, but i think that sort of activity is reserved for the PsTB.

  12. February 6, 2008 00:34

    ps – if you are really a dork you can gain instant access to the club simply by knowing what PsTB means (no fair asking buffy or xander)

  13. February 6, 2008 01:47

    No offence taken. PsTB???

    Puget Sound Naval Ship Yard?
    Puget Sound Tug and Barge?
    Petroleum Storage Tank Bureau?
    Public Service Traffic Bureau?
    Phosphate Specific Transport System of?
    Public Service Television Broadcasters?
    Processing Science and Technology Branch?
    Problem Solving Team Building?

    Hey, I said dork = a stupid or ridiculous person

    not nerd = an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit: a computer nerd

    nor geek = a computer expert or enthusiast (a term of pride as self-reference, but often considered offensive when used by outsiders)

    Like some how that’s supposed to make me feel better, and I’m still out on the instant access. DANG IT!!! πŸ˜›

  14. February 6, 2008 01:54

    PsTB, or more commonly PTB, frequently abbreviated thusly on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

    It stands for “the Powers That Be”

    and i still say anyone that can quote or recognize quotes from Buffy deserves instant dork status, up to and including your posted definition.

  15. February 6, 2008 02:08

    uuuuuuuhhhhhhhh… What? πŸ˜‰

  16. February 6, 2008 02:47

    see, i knew you weren’t ready for the club

  17. February 6, 2008 05:38

    Double dang it. 😦

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