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drinking my spit

November 5, 2007

i left my water bottle on a display table i was setting up at my store

the items being displayed had nothing to do with water.

but there was going to be a demo at this table, so there were empty sample cups stacked up next to the random pile of product i was sorting through.

as i was returning to the table with more random product, a pair of middle aged ladies stopped at the table, saw my water bottle, and decided it was a sample, even though the table was in total disarray. they had already poured little 2 oz cups for themselves and were sipping away before i could say boo.

it wasn’t even *legit* water. by which, i mean i had already drunk the bottle earlier in the day and refilled it from the water cooler in the break room.

and when i’m not sharing i don’t concern myself with backwash.

i nodded at the ladies as they meandered on their way, set my boxes down, and opened up my bottle to take a drink, *accidentally* kicking the table leg loudly.

then i was seized by a loud bout of coughing.

which i remedied by drinking more water.

both ladies glanced back.

one cow eyed and oblivious.

her friend, however, looked a wee bit horrified.

sadly, this is not the first time this has happened to me and to this day it amazes me how thoroughly oblivious people can be when it comes to free samples in a grocery store.

i once had to physically restrain a man during a cooking demonstration.

without saying a word or making any attempt to ask permission or even to ascertain what he would be eating, the gentleman came up to my table, removed the lid from the electric skillet, and attempted to spear a chunk of raw chicken with a toothpick.

i spoke to him three times, all three of which he ignored.

slamming the lid down on his toothpick finally got his attention and when i told him for the fourth time that the chicken was still raw he just seemed annoyed that i wasn’t letting him graze on it anyway.

i love my job

2 Comments leave one →
  1. amy permalink
    November 6, 2007 00:29

    should have let him eat it…the botulism might have done something for his brain cells. Come to think of it, maybe not, but its fun to imgine people that stupid retching their guts up for days on end because of their own stupidity.

  2. November 6, 2007 15:54

    Sounds like you’ll have enough stories for a comedy book – stupid things folks do in the grocery store.

    My hubby always has a tale or two just from his brief visits to grab a few things while he is standing in line to check out.

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