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living the dream

September 13, 2007

when i was in prison, i spent as much of my time as possible, sleeping – hence, by default, i spent much of my time dreaming

and one dream even afflicted me when i was awake.

i dreamed of the life i had thrown away.

i’m not talking about my family, my career, or even my freedom

i’m talking about true love

call me sappy if you will, but it is the simple truth.

i have loved a lot of women.

granted, when i was young and insecure many of these women did not know i loved them. in fact, i’m fairly certain they did not know i was alive.

but in time i plucked up my courage and managed to love some face to face

and eventually even skin to skin :mrgreen:

but finding someone you can live with is not the same thing as finding that one soul you just can’t live without.

but i found her.

and i was too stupid to realize what i had found.

so, in the end i let her go and went back to loving women . . . without really being loved in return. not at that level. never before or since at that level.

that was 16 years ago.

and my regular readers know how that all turned out.

(for those of you who don’t know how it turned out, you can read about it here).

the short version is, T and i are back together and more cozy than a clam in his shell.

and i for one am supremely grateful. i long for her when i am away. i long for her when she is away. and we both look forward to coming home at the end of the day.

i cannot think of a better life

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Red permalink
    September 13, 2007 20:39

    I’m in love with love because of my husband.

    Thank you for this post.

  2. September 13, 2007 21:23

    yw – glad you enjoyed it

  3. September 13, 2007 22:17


    I love you too sweetheart…

    To the rest of you, please remove the finger from your throat.

  4. September 13, 2007 22:20

    we’re not THAT smarmy, are we?

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