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gender issues :: long enough to Eat

April 9, 2007

i am heterosexual (male) and not at all confused about my sexual identity.

i am not a woman

i have never been a woman

i do not plan to become a woman


(lets just say any surgery that involves splitting my c*ck down the middle and stuffing it back inside me is just a step in the wrong direction!)


nevertheless, this year i decided to dip my foot in the pool, if you will, and get the barest taste of what many women endure on a near daily basis.

i decided to grow my hair out

(that whooshing sound you just heard was all the angry perverts leaving my blog en masse)

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it has been an adventure.

as the months go on, i find more and more that my hair gets caught in the oddest places. under my collar, under my coat, between my back and my seat, under my wife’s arm when we are making out . . .

sidebar ::

i would like to just pause a moment and insert a blanket apology to every girlfriend whose hair i ever inadvertently pinned.


with a capital get the f*ck off my hair, man!

but what really prompted this post was an event that happened @ work the other day ::

i forgot to bring my lunch, so i had a couple bucks in my pocket and jogged on over to subway.

the weather was nice and this particular subway features an outdoor cafe’ so i took my lunch outside to enjoy the sunshine and cool breezes.


yeah . . . i spent half my lunch break flossing.


the wind just kept picking up my hair and sweeping it into my face; more specifically – into my mouth.


so it’s official :: my hair is now long enough to eat.


i like my hair long, but i gotta say it is becoming bloody inconvenient



my hat is off to all the women out there who have been putting up with this all their lives.



4 Comments leave one →
  1. April 9, 2007 11:47

    Very cool – I love a guy with long hair. Get a nice piece of leather lacing (or black coast rubber hair band) and tie it back – looks great and keeps it out of your teeth. By the way – my hair has always been VERY long – it is past my waist. And yes it gets caught in the strangest places LOL (but I won’t mention them here). Lady Rose

  2. April 9, 2007 12:21

    *** (but i won’t mention them here) ***

    party pooper

  3. April 9, 2007 21:09

    I had long hair all my life and then one day, about a year ago, I shaved it all off. One of the best decisions I ever made. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back.

  4. April 9, 2007 21:34

    i shaved my head a couple years ago.

    i’ve been threatened with my life if i do it again 😉

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