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10 weapons i carried in Prison

March 27, 2007

trouble with prison is it’s a bloody dangerous place

featuring some bloody dangerous people

:: :: ::

but they really don’t issue, sell, (or even allow) weapons

so, of course, we had subtle ways of making due.

the following is a list of weapons i carried while in prison. not necessarily all at once, but at least one at all times.

in all the time i was down i only ever used one of them

garotte ::

made of braided boot laces with a loop at one end and a wooden peg at the other and a small wooden cross from the chaplain hanging in the middle. simple religious icons were allowed, so i wore it as a necklace.

3 sharpened pencils ::

full length, never used for writing/drawing. just kept them in my pocket.

half a bar of irish spring ::

split lengthwise to fit in one’s fist to make a punch land harder, more solidly.

a combination padlock ::

we were allowed to have 2 on most camps. i used one on my box and kept one in my pocket. you can either stick your finger through the loop and knock folk about that way or run something flexible through the loop, like a sock, to use as a handle, increasing the padlock’s range and flexibility.

shoe/flip flop ::

yeah, it sounds ridiculous, i know. but let someone beat you with one and you’ll find them quite effective.

belt ::

doubles as a garotte or a longer handle for your lock or simply extends your range

soap in a sock ::

simple weapon. like the name implies, you drop a bar of soap down in a sock to make a sap. i was actually hit with one of these by a crazy old man. his sock was rotten so the soap blew out the end after the first hit.

i recommend using new socks or doubling (using two socks, one inside the other).

lots of guys washed their own clothes by hand, so the guards didn’t question a bar of soap stuffed into a sock.

a more vicious version of this weapon is *lock in a sock* but the guards would give you a weapons charge for that little combo.

jack mackerel ::

about the size of a can of dog food, you could buy cans of mackerel at the commisary. makes a hefty little weapon when held by its end and pounded into someone’s head

broken comb ::

this one you had to make just right to avoid getting a weapon charge. they actually stopped selling handle combs in prison behind this weapon. now they sell the little ones with teeth all the way down that you hold by the spine.

i saw a lot of guys buy handle combs and melt the end tine (the really thick one) and then snip off all the smaller tines as well.

you end up with something that looks like a homemade ice pick.

i spent three days making mine, turning the thick end tine back and forth until it finally broke off at an angle. the break looked fairly normal for a very old comb that had seen alot of years.

i left the small bendy tines in place.

it is a stabbing weapon. those little bristles aren’t going to slow it down much if you ever have to use it.

in the meanwhile it still looks like a legitimate comb, so you can carry it around without risking a weapons charge

rock ::

a rock of any size, if the guards find it on you, is considered a weapon.

a rock with a cute little face colored on the front is an eccentricity and often isn’t even confiscated in a search.

mine had google eyes that i had ordered in with my art supplies.

other weapons i have seen but didn’t carry ::

the pin to the wringer on a mop bucket, sharpened at the tip on the concrete floor (9″ long)

glass or plastic shard, taped at one end to grip

razor blades melted into the side of a comb or toothbrush

broken broom handle (broken to form a point)

pork chop bone (they no longer serve pork chops because of these). the bone is naturally sharp and makes a t-shape that fits nicely in the fist

5″ hard plastic spike made by melting pen casings together and sharpening on concrete

a sharpened metal spoon from the kitchen

flexible club made from strips of sheet with a monkey’s fist knot tied around a rock at the end

hard club made from a national geographic magazine. the magazine is soaked and rolled tight and tied together. it dries hard like a stick.

nunchukai made from national geographic magazines in the same manner but with a braided bit of sheet run through the middles and tied at the ends.

glass embedded gloves made from a pair of old work gloves with broken bits of glass encrusted on the knuckles with glue and camoflaged with various splotches of paint. this guy ended up doing a bunch of extra time for punching a guard whilst wearing said gloves.

sword made from a broken lawnmower blade (this was on one of the work farms and was kept in the barn. it was machine tooled, polished, and pretty, intended (i believe) more as a project, a work of art, than a weapon. that said, i wouldn’t have wanted to get hit with it.

can you guess which one of my ten weapons i actually used on another inmate?

which weapons do you think you might have made use of?

 

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18 Comments leave one →
  1. March 28, 2007 10:51

    I’m going shoe/flip flop as the weapon you used.

    I personally think I’m a soap (or lock) in a sock. . .

  2. March 28, 2007 12:05

    I think I know so I am not going to guess and ruin it for everyone else…

  3. March 28, 2007 12:44

    So I’m guessing I’m wrong then? hahahah

    I change my guess to: Rock

  4. March 28, 2007 13:01

    8 more guesses and you’re bound to get it. 😉

  5. March 28, 2007 13:56

    Darn!

    3 sharpened pencils?

  6. March 29, 2007 07:41

    nope.

    that was T’s guess, too, btw.

    no, the half-bar of soap clenched in fist to land a harder punch is the correct answer.

    i am, by all accounts, a peaceful man with a creative mind. i crafted many weapons on the sole basis of an overactive imagination, but when it came down to it, my body was the only weapon i ever used.

    for the most part i kept to myself and kept my mouth shut, and that (coupled with the fact that i weighed in @ nearly 300 lbs) kept me out of a lot of trouble.

    in the few fights i was in (with a single exception) i always threw the first punch. conversely, i only lost one fight in prison.

    guess which one

  7. March 29, 2007 08:36

    Darn! That was my next guess. . . . .

  8. March 29, 2007 08:58

    suuuuuure it was *wink wink, nudge nudge* 😉

  9. May 6, 2007 03:53

    It’s gotta be your acid tongue!!! That sharp wit could knock anyone out!

  10. May 6, 2007 10:23

    LoL. no. i kept my acid tongue in check in prison unless i was already planning on swinging. otherwise it’d have been me that got knocked out.

  11. May 6, 2007 20:59

    i watched a show with Colin tonight all about prison weapons, your post mearly touched the surface!

    scary stuff. . . . .

  12. May 7, 2007 06:43

    that is true. i was by nooooooo stretch of the imagination the scariest cat in the cage. nor was i ever on what one would call a *major* spread. medium security was the highest i ever rated.

    i dunno if it was the same show, but i’ve seen something similar, and you’re right. waaay scary.

  13. May 7, 2007 13:07

    It was a documentary about prison guards, it was a maximum security prison.

    It followed them through breaking up gangs and all out riots. The man focus was how they find and discover weapons in prision. . . .

    Colin might remember what it was called, I’ll ask him.

  14. May 7, 2007 13:34

    whenever we knew the goon squad was coming (guards in riot gear) we would stop up all the toilets and sinks and make them flood and squirt shampoo all over the floor in front of the door.

    our own personal slip’n’slide moat, if you will.

  15. May 16, 2007 13:48

    that sounds funny.

    did any of the goon squad slip and fall into the moat?

  16. May 16, 2007 14:27

    occasionally.

    before we sound too cleverly braveheart let me just clear one thing up :: we never won.

    if you weren’t lying facedown on your bunk or the floor when they came in you got the sh*t beat out of you.

    but, yeah, we got our licks in.

    some of them went down.

    there were no fatalities (on either side) at any of the camps i was at, but yeah, it was a messy, messy brawl

  17. just curious permalink
    June 5, 2007 16:14

    what were you in prison for anyway brahnamin???

  18. June 6, 2007 16:28

    Prison

    click the link above. it’s all on that page.

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