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#1 television show in Prison

March 9, 2007

so i’ve already mentioned how mind numbingly boring prison can be. unsurprisingly, we made much use of our televisions.

now in the course of my incarceration i spent time in several county jails and even more prisons. the county jails because my fraud was multi-jurisdictional and everyone wanted a piece of me, the prisons because that was the days of overcrowding and we got moved around alot.

i even ended up in texas for a brief stint. (that experience was worth a hundred posts all its own)

and everywhere i went it never failed. everyone was watching the same damn show.

 

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that’s right folks.

 

*COPS*

 

it took the bulk of my incarceration to decide that this was a fairly universal phenomena, but from the very first instance, i questioned it. it was just too bizarre to let slide. and, surprisingly, the answers i got to my questions over the years were also all but universal.

me :: so, why are we watching cops?

inmate du jour :: it’s a good show.

me :: dude, we’re in prison. why the f*ck are we watching cops?

idj :: so we’ll know what to do next time.

me :: slack jawed astonishment the first time. look of thinly veiled disgust every other time after that.

cops as training video? these are the guys that got caught. what the f*ck are you going to learn?

they say in prison you learn to be a better criminal, and i suppose to a certain extent that may be true. i, for instance, now know how to hotwire a car. i didn’t before that.

on the other hand, the recidivism rate begs to differ (cuz if you’re getting better you should be getting caught less-yeah, not so much).

know why i haven’t gotten caught hotwiring cars? BECAUSE I LEARNED MY F*CKING LESSON! (read as *i don’t hotwire cars*)

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the second top rated show, of course, is Jerry Springer, followed by Judge du Jour (matthis, judy, whoever is on top of fake @ss court tv these days), followed by any sporting event from fishing to nascar to basketball, etc (yeah, they watch the boring sports too, because they can gamble on the outcome)

soap operas (the *stories*) are big in county, but up state that’s usually the time we were on work gang so there they tend to fall by the wayside.

i’ll tell you what show i’d pony up good money to see on ppv ::

*COPS-Bloopers-The Ones That Got Away*

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