mormons on my Doorstep
[cue creepy little girl] they’re baaaaaaaaack
okay, so i’m clattering away on my computer minding my own business (okay, well, it’s *teh interweb* so i had my nose in lots of people’s business) when i hear an odd brittle rap on my screen door.
so i go to the window and peek out. sure enough, two bright shining lads in crisp pants and close cropped hair were waiting on my stoop.
so i open the door. a glance at their non-descript black ski-jackets confirmed my guess. elder somebody or other on a permanent tag. i open the storm door and invite them in, “hey, guys, c’mon in” just like we were old friends.
they stare at me.
i invite again. “seriously guys, it’s way too cold out here. c’mon in.”
stammering and confused they nevertheless acknowlege that 12 degrees is not the ideal setting for religious dialogue and enter my domicile.
i invite them to take a seat on the couch and offer them something to drink. this further confuses them, but the elder (elder in mormon missionary terms usually means 19-21 yrs old) has the presence of mind to ask for water and the younger follows suit.
i leave them alone in my living room to go get their water.
when i return they are still standing, admiring a bit of cross stitching of my wife’s. only after i have handed them their water and sat down myself do they feel comfortable enough to follow suit.
now, i must say it was not my intent to make them uncomfortable, but i won’t deny i had fun with it. typically mormon missionaries are forced to stand on the porch to make their pitch if the door isn’t closed in their face right off. and because of this it is kind of an unofficial *wisdom* among them that once they get you to invite them in they’ve all but got you baptized.
the good baptists of bethlehemBaptist dunked me as a kid.
i have so far evaded being immersed by mormons, though i have had mormon missionaries in my home on several occasions.
long and short we discussed what they wanted to discuss. we went into details, we broke things down to their smallest components, and of course, came to the same impasse we always come to. at which point they decided to cut their losses on the afternoon and bid me good day, but they encouraged me to continue studying, and to keep asking questions.
so i asked one more question ::
why does god keep sending me mormons?
they didn’t have an answer for that per se, but it did seem to make them happier.
i predict that this will not be the last time mormon missionaries darken my door. hell, at this point i wouldn’t be surprised if the local stake had a pool going on how long it will take to convert me.
i wonder if i can get in on that pool