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the furry little beast in my water Bottle

January 26, 2007

6 am.


i get in my car, groggy, not wanting to face the morning commute. not wanting to go to work at all. i didn’t even make time for breakfast.

that’s when i see it. a tiny left-over blessing from the night before. a nearly full bottle of ice cold water.

i pick it up and unscrew the cap as i put the car in gear, close my eyes, and take a long slow swallow.

at least that is what i had intended to do.

unfortunately, no sooner than i touched the bottle to my lips and felt the first cold kiss of water, did a furry little beast roughly the size of a fat hamster scramble out of the bottle and into my mouth, filling it in an alarmaingly dry furry fashion so that i couldn’t decide whether to gag or spew it out.

this micro-second of indecision coupled with my panicked need to expell the creature caused me to do both, resulting in a slushy mess shared between my chin and the windshield.

no furry beast after all. my water had merely frozen to slush, but when you are expecting a mouthfull of cold water and instead get a mouthful of dry, vaguely prickly slush whilst in a partly dream state…

needless to say, i remained awake and alert for the entirety of my morning commute.

sadly, this is not entertainment, but an actual even that actually occurred to an actual sleepy-arsed idiot

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