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talking gas Pumps

December 19, 2006

this is a relatively new phenomena where i live. comercials at the gas pump.

basically, there is a speaker attached to the side of the pump that starts telling you about the great deals you can get inside as soon as you start pumping gas.

there are several buttons attendant to the speaker, and honestly, i couldn’t tell you what services the first legion of them might offer. but the last one in the queue is the volume/mute switch. before i discovered it, i concocted several plans for the removal of said speaker that ran the gamut from shoving fresh-chewed bubble gum in the speaker holes to coming by at midnight with a louisville slugger.

aversion to more prison time, fines, and the happy discovery of the mute button stayed my hand.

but just to give you an idea, three months into this new ‘service’ they changed the canned commercial to one that started out with a sultry woman’s voice saying firmly (but still sexily) “now hold on there. before you push that mute button…”

now, i heard this at another pump, because i hit the mute button before i hit the start button to pump my gas every time, no exceptions. however, other patrons seem willing to put up with the commercials or have not yet discovered mister mute button.

but what does it tell you when the company concocts a commercial like that?

it tells me that, not only are they annoying me, but they KNOW they are annoying me and choose to persist in spite of this insight.

how do they get away with this?

the same way all retail establishments are getting away with it in an age where “brand loyalty” is a null concept. they know that we will accept certain in-conveniences to gain certain other conveniences. this particular gas station, for instance, is less than a mile from my house and i suspect even without my friend, mister mute button, i would still be frequenting the establishment for that reason alone.

the age of boycots is dead.

we have collectively become a nation of bent over bleeptches resigned to the notion that rape is inevitable.

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