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christmas cheer :: maytag Style

December 9, 2006

i am fairly certain my washing machine has no special talents beyond making my clothes clean, but this morning as it aggitates i distinctly hear the tune to ‘jingle bells’ in its shuffling churns and sloshes.

i realize it is probablly my imagination. that, as a retail slave, having been innundated with canned christmas carols since half past samhain, my warped little mind is producing the effect via whatever imaginative gymnastics have replaced my normal coping mechanisms.

nevertheless, i can’t seem to make it stop.

despite the weirdness, i conclude i am still sane.

as a socially adapted animal, for instance, i find i still know better than to call the local news station and try to convince them of my wassailing washing machine. my instinct for self-preservation forbids it. (plus i really loathe those high-starched shirts with the wrap-around arms).

if i were truly insane i wouldn’t give a carp.

so here i sit, waiting for my clothes to finish their cycle, the chorus of ‘jingle bells’ slushling away, but i find in the hopeful corners of my mind a black little seed of growing trepidation. you see, my dryer is considerablly more aggressive than my washing machine.


if it starts in on ‘jingle bell rock’ i’ve got channel 7 on speed dial.

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